


I Remember Every Word

by adamwhatareyouevendoing



Series: Missing Scenes [2]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Episode Related, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-15 05:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3435473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamwhatareyouevendoing/pseuds/adamwhatareyouevendoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jocelyn cooks for Maggie and finally reveals the truth. Companion piece to 2x07.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Picnic at Sunset

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven’t stopped watching this scene since last week – don’t know how many times I’ve seen it now, but it’s a lot. I picked up on all the tiny details and then this happened!

Jocelyn leaves the changing rooms after the drama of the courtroom to find Maggie waiting for her in the atrium.  
  
"Thank you for offering to drive me home tonight," she says as she approaches her friend. In light of her recent accident, Maggie had made her agree not to drive, so really she didn’t have another option.  
  
Maggie looks up, suddenly startled from her reverie to find Jocelyn smiling softly at her.  
  
"It's no trouble," Maggie replies, rising from the uncomfortable bench.  
  
They stand for a moment, both simply looking at each other - unbeknownst to the other, admiring.

***

They travel back to the town in companionable silence, consumed by their own thoughts.  
  
It is Jocelyn who speaks first when they pull up outside her house. "I was planning on cooking tonight, if you fancy joining me?"  
  
Maggie looks at her, mock-startled, a grin breaking out on her face. "Well that is a first," she whistles lowly.  
  
Jocelyn returns her smile. "If it's any consolation, it's pre-made, I just have to grill it."  
  
"Phew." Maggie breathes an exaggerated sigh of relief, causing Jocelyn to swat her lightly on the arm.

***  
  
When Jocelyn retrieves a barbecue grill from the back of her kitchen cupboard, Maggie's eyebrows rise even higher on her forehead.  
  
Jocelyn catches the expression. "Be quiet and make yourself useful," she smiles, gesturing to a chest of drawers in the corner. "There should be a picnic blanket somewhere in there."  
  
Maggie turns away in order to cover her smirk.

***  
  
When everything is ready, they venture out onto the cliffs just outside Jocelyn's house. The view here is breath-taking, and Maggie watches the sunset while Jocelyn grills the food she had carefully selected in the supermarket earlier.  
  
She had politely refused Maggie's help, saying, "I'm hardly cooking for you if you do it yourself, am I?" Maggie had conceded the point, and had to admit that it was quite amusing to watch the concentration on Jocelyn's face, as thorough in this as when she's working on a case.  
  
Only when the food is served to Jocelyn's exacting standards does she allow Maggie to pour their wine, having cited the need for a clear head earlier; she had pretended not to notice the quirk of Maggie's lips at that statement.  
  
"This is amazing," Maggie praises, spearing a piece of lamb with her fork.  
  
"Thank you, though I do feel that the co-op should take some of the credit," Jocelyn laughs.  
  
"Nevertheless, you grilled it spectacularly," Maggie jokes, sharing a smile.  
  
They leave their plates to the side, and return to their wine. Eventually, Maggie broaches the topic that has obviously been playing on both of their minds, but had avoided talking about until now.  
  
"Please tell me they're going to come back with the right verdict."  
  
Having placed her wine glass on the ground, Jocelyn meets her gaze.  
  
"Oh I hope so," she murmurs forcefully.  
  
Maggie can see that she doesn't really wish to dwell on the topic though, and so changes the subject.  
  
"I don't know what I've done to deserve this," she says, gesturing as if to encompass everything: the picnic blanket, the view.  
  
Jocelyn smiles softly. "It's a thank you. For pulling me back into the world."  
  
Maggie's eyebrows quirk in a silent question as she searches Jocelyn's eyes before asking, "Have I done that?" She leans forwards slightly with a teasing glint in her eye.  
  
Jocelyn's eyes are gentle as she replies. "You know you have."  
  
Maggie isn't sure if she's made up the adoration she can see on Jocelyn's face - seeing what she wants to see, rather than what is actually there. She holds Jocelyn's gaze briefly, but she cannot prevent the smile which breaks out, glancing up momentarily as if in concession of the point.  
  
As Maggie looks down and picks up her wine, Jocelyn cannot help tracing her features with her eyes; her gaze flickering across Maggie’s face - from her eyes, to her lips, to the crown of her head and back down again. The sunset has cast an orange glow across them, and Jocelyn finds herself breathless at Maggie's beauty.  
  
"There's something else." The words slip out of Jocelyn's mouth before she has time to consider them, so caught up is she in admiring the woman in front of her. Of course she knows what she means to say, having planned this moment earlier, but she's surprised with how easily the confession is made.  
  
Maggie's eyes shift quickly to meet hers, and she must see something important in the depths of them as she places her wine glass down.  
  
"Something I should have told you long before now," Jocelyn continues. Her gaze is affectionate as she meets Maggie's eyes. "There was a moment, must have been 15 years ago..."  
  
Maggie pushes her hair, flyaway in the wind, off her forehead and behind her ear. She looks at Jocelyn with dawning comprehension in her eyes.  
  
"I should have said it then and I didn't. And I want to say it now." Jocelyn's eyes are still shining with adoration, and she has a soft smile on her face.  
  
Maggie looks down, almost as if she can't bring herself to contemplate that after all these years, Jocelyn might finally say the words she's been hoping to hear.  
  
When she raises her head again, Jocelyn can refrain from the truth no longer. "It's always been you."  
  
Jocelyn notes a steely glint in Maggie's eyes, as if she can't fully believe it.  
  
"What has?" Maggie asks. She can't help the hard edge that tinges the words; she's trying so desperately not to get her hopes up - to be careful. She doesn't want to scare Jocelyn off, but she also needs to know; can't have Jocelyn shying away this time. Not again. Last time it nearly killed her.  
  
Jocelyn gives a small huff, a besotted smile still gracing her face. "You're gonna make me say it aren't you? Fine..." She pauses, searching the depths of Maggie's eyes for some warning sign; trying to weigh up how well received this will be. In the end she can't hold it in any longer, the words leaving her, clear in their certainty.  
  
"I'm in love with you Maggie."  
  
Maggie lets out a huffed breath. She's not sure if it's out of disbelief or relief.  
  
"Ever since you came here," Jocelyn admits.  
  
Maggie looks almost heartbroken, her eyes seemingly pleading. "What am I supposed to do with that now?"  
  
Jocelyn looks down with a slight shrug. Truth be told, she hadn't thought about what would happen after she'd made her confession: only that she needed to tell Maggie, finally say the words after all these years.  
  
Words have barely formed on her lips before Maggie cuts her off, saying, "Do you really think I didn't know?"  
  
Jocelyn searches her eyes, surprised. "Well why didn't you say anything?"  
  
"Because you never did." Maggie's tone is accusatory, but her eyes reveal a deeper pain behind her words. "I thought if you really feel that strongly, you'd be brave, you wouldn't care what people thought. But your work mattered more."  
  
Jocelyn finally realises, after all this time, exactly how much she let Maggie down. The words hang in the air only briefly, but they're enough to remind Jocelyn of the time when she could have changed where their paths were leading; the eve of when they could have seen in a new dawn together, rather than spending these last few years alone. The time Maggie had invited her out for a drink, hope shining in her eyes - the potential for something more - but Jocelyn had turned her down, citing work commitments, as if hiding behind case notes could conceal the fear she felt at taking the final leap. As though the words, "I'm sorry, I'm busy tonight," were the final nail in their burgeoning feelings that were never given the chance to be fully realised. It's only now, in the face of all that, that Jocelyn finally realises the truth that had eluded her for so long.  
  
"I thought it did. But I was wrong." Her voice nearly breaks, but her conviction is unchanged. Maggie remains silent, blinking almost uncomprehendingly. "Well, say something." Jocelyn exhales a shaky laugh with the words, trying to disguise her fear.  
  
Maggie shakes her head slowly, doing nothing to assuage this anxiety.  
  
"Jocelyn, you're grieving, you're feeling alone, that's why you're saying this... But it's over, the moment passed." It hurts to say it, but Maggie knows that she needs to protect her heart; she fell into this once before and it almost broke her - she's not prepared to do it again if Jocelyn is going to change her mind later.  
   
The hurt is still shining in Maggie's eyes, but Jocelyn takes charge for once, knowing that it's her move: she needs to be the one to rectify the mistakes of the past; it's not Maggie's responsibility to sort this mess out. She put her heart out on the line once before and was rejected: now it's Jocelyn's turn. And this time, she won't let Maggie down.  
  
"No, I don't think it has." There's a new-found resolve in her voice.  
  
Maggie's eyes don't leave hers as she raises her hand to Maggie's cheek. It slips further back, until she's practically cradling Maggie's head; her touch a whispering caress.  
  
Maggie wonders if her disbelief at Jocelyn's action shows on her face. Jocelyn's hand is gentle, but there's also a firmness to her touch. There is no mistaking this. Maggie sees it in her eyes, and draws back a fraction - a final moment of fear before she allows herself to hope, and leans into the touch. Jocelyn waits until Maggie meets her gaze, her eyes finally gentle, reflecting how Jocelyn is looking at her - neither of them realise how evident the love for the other shines in their eyes.  
  
Slowly, Jocelyn moves towards Maggie and is relieved to find that Maggie is similarly drawn towards her. They meet in the middle, eyes slipping shut as Maggie's hand rises, seemingly of its own accord to hover between them.

Maggie's barely aware of anything except her mouth opening a fraction to take Jocelyn's lips in a firm kiss - this isn't just a brief brush of lips. Her hand stretches towards Jocelyn, fingertips skimming the lapel of her jacket, as she pushes forward more insistently.  
  
After all this time waiting, wondering what the other's lips would taste like, they both find it difficult to pull away. They breathe shallowly into the small gap between their mouths, before Maggie gives a small groan, her raised hand moving up to curl in the hair below Jocelyn's ear. They both move forwards again at the same time, and it's a relief to know that neither of them could hold out any longer.  
  
They shift almost imperceptibly closer together, still kissing, not realising they have moved until their folded legs are either side of the other's hips. They are so close together that their chests briefly brush when they pause for breath, drawing in air like they're drowning, clinging together to stay afloat.  
  
Their soft kisses slowly turn more passionate - they've waited so long for this moment, and now it's finally happened, neither of them can hold back from the feelings pouring out of them.  
  
Maggie's free hand slowly reaches out and finds Jocelyn's thigh, just above the knee. Jocelyn makes a small strangled noise into her mouth, and Maggie cannot help but pull back to catch Jocelyn's eyes, smiling at the fire kindling there.  
  
She slowly trails her hand further along Jocelyn's leg, coming to rest just below her hip, along the outside of her thigh. Jocelyn's breaths are coming in shallower pants each time. Maggie dimly realises that hers aren't much better, as she breathlessly echoes Jocelyn's words back to her. "It's always been you."  
  
Jocelyn leans forward, as if to kiss the words off her lips, or sear them there. "What has?" She whispers playfully, her eyes shining in the dying light, as her hair is caught in the rays, shimmering as if in a haze of fire. Maggie briefly considers the imagery of a halo, the cliché not mattering in her dazed state.  
  
Maggie's soft smile lights up her face. "I've always been in love with you," she murmurs, sounding overwhelmed despite her best efforts to retain levity.  
  
She brushes a thumb against the edge of Jocelyn's bottom lip from where her hand rests, cupping her jaw.  
  
"I'm sorry," Jocelyn breathes, finally saying the words she has wanted to for years. Maggie smiles softly, and Jocelyn can see the forgiveness in her eyes.  
  
"There's no need to apologise now," Maggie says, caressing Jocelyn's cheek reassuringly. "What matters is that we got around to it."  
  
Jocelyn smiles. "I wish we'd done this years ago."  
  
Maggie's features shift into an expression of agreement. "We'd better make up for lost time then," she murmurs teasingly.  
  
There's no chance for Jocelyn to reply as Maggie curves into her once again, capturing her lips. Jocelyn knows she will never tire of this, no matter how long they spend recovering the missed kisses of the last few years.  
  
At least they have been granted the opportunity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If there’s anything in particular you’d like to see in the next chapter then let me know – I have a few ideas but it won’t be very long, so any inspiration is welcome!


	2. Hold Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a few of you asked for people finding out about their relationship, and I got there eventually!

They only part once the sun has set and the light and warmth has drained from the landscape.  
  
Jocelyn pulls away slightly to smile wryly at Maggie. "Well I think we certainly made headway in the time we lost."  
  
Maggie blinks blearily in the greying light, looking dazed for a moment before her head clears and she realises how late it must be. A small, disbelieving laugh escapes her. "You're just that irresistible," she jokes, but there's a weight behind the words.  
  
Jocelyn's eyes drift across Maggie's face once again, as if she's committing every inch of it to memory, so she can still envisage it when she can see no longer. Maggie understands, and takes Jocelyn's free hand - the one which had clasped her face throughout their frantic kisses, and is now resting lightly on her stomach, fingertips brushing the soft wool of her cardigan.  
  
They sit like that for an indeterminable length of time, simply gazing at each other, hands entwined together, revelling in their new-found closeness; the companionship they had desired for so many years. They silently vow never to be parted again, no matter what the future holds.  
  
Jocelyn shivers involuntarily. In the warmth of the sun, the light sea breeze had been a refreshing breath helping to cool down the heat of their tightly-pressed bodies. Now though, the wind is distinctly sharp. Maggie notices.  
  
"Come on, let’s get inside before we catch a chill."  
  
She gets to her feet, and pulls Jocelyn up with her, catching her other hand. They stretch their limbs, having been curled up in one position for a long time.  
  
"Next time I think it's a good idea to sit on the floor all evening, maybe remind me I'm not as young as I used to be," Jocelyn murmurs dryly.  
  
Maggie hums in agreement, then a cheeky smile steals over her face. "I wasn't complaining though, considering."  
  
Jocelyn blushes, but she can't disagree.  
  
Helping to tidy away their picnic items, Maggie briefly wonders what the rest of the evening holds for them. God knows she wants Jocelyn, but not like this - not when there are too many thoughts and emotions running riot in their heads: the murder trial still looming over the town and its people like a shadow. Despite the progress of this evening, Maggie knows that it's too soon, but nor does she want to leave.  
  
She's saved from dwelling on the issue for much longer, as on the short walk back to the house, Jocelyn notices her glance to her car. As if the look is an unspoken question, Jocelyn answers. "Stay here with me tonight. Only if you'd like," she adds hurriedly.  
  
By the utter lack of shock on Maggie's face at this suggestion, Jocelyn knows that Maggie had been hoping to hear those words.  
  
"I would." Maggie smiles reassuringly, letting Jocelyn know that she doesn't expect anything more. The understanding passes between them as Jocelyn reaches forward to press Maggie's arm briefly.  
  
***  
  
As they climb into bed together, Jocelyn murmurs, "Hold me," so quietly into the darkness that Maggie isn't sure whether she actually heard her or if her mind made it up. But by the way Jocelyn moves over to curl into her side, she's fairly sure she heard correctly. Jocelyn lies with her head half on Maggie's shoulder and half on the pillow, as Maggie wraps an arm around Jocelyn's body, hand resting on her back.  
  
It's always been the nights which plague Jocelyn - in the darkness, all her regrets, fears and thoughts bubble up to the surface and keep her awake. Images flit behind her eyelids: Joe Miller in court, unflinchingly staring out with blank eyes, devoid of sorrow; Sharon's sneering face vowing to win; her mother, frail and pale against the bedspread; Maggie's face, all those years ago, disappointment shining in her eyes.  
  
But now there are a wealth of other images too, stored from this evening - all tinted with happiness, and all of Maggie. Jocelyn makes an effort to dwell on these, as if thoughts of the woman next to her can wipe away all the other images lingering in her consciousness, and bring her peace.  
  
As if sensing this inner turmoil, Maggie presses her lips gently against Jocelyn's forehead.  
  
"Penny for them?"  
  
"You'll tell me off for being melancholy," Jocelyn warns, but her voice sounds lighter than she expected it to.  
  
"You're worried about tomorrow." It's not a question, merely a statement. After all, Jocelyn has every right to be worried - they both do, but Jocelyn more so; winning this case is a point of pride for her; proof that she was right to be convinced to re-join the world. And Maggie's the one who dragged her back.  
  
"Mostly." She's silent for a while. "I'm just glad you're here."  
  
Maggie rubs her hand lightly across Jocelyn's back - exploratory, soothing.  
  
"What made you decide to tell me tonight?" Maggie asks eventually, her hushed tone breaking the companionable silence which has settled between them. She had been thinking about that since they'd started getting ready for bed. Too late she realises that dwelling on the past might make Jocelyn even more melancholy, but considering they're already there, it makes sense to get everything out into the open.  
  
"DI Hardy. Indirectly," Jocelyn admits. She feels Maggie stiffen in surprise and huffs a laugh. Maggie's relieved to hear the noise. "He turned up at my house a couple of weeks ago; gave me a terrible fright just appearing at my window suddenly."  
  
Maggie laughs softly. "He is intense like that. What did he want?"  
  
"For me to write his will."  
  
Maggie looks down at Jocelyn, shocked. Jocelyn catches her eyes in the gloomy light of the room.  
  
"It surprised me too. He's carrying around such guilt - such regret," she muses, taken back to the haunted look in his eyes. "He actually tried to have a conversation with me, which from what you've said, is a rare occurrence."  
  
"Extremely. He must have been in a state." There's only a trace of humour in Maggie’s voice.  
  
"At one point he asked me if I had kids, and I told him I never married." Jocelyn pauses, and Maggie reaches across to squeeze her arm comfortingly with her free hand. "I told him that I missed who I was supposed to be with... Because I wasn't strong enough. I thought it was too late to fix things. But he said, 'you should tell them', and I haven't been able to let go of that thought since."

"I'm glad you didn't," Maggie murmurs. "Let go of the thought I mean. I'm glad you told me." She thinks of her initial reaction to Jocelyn's confession and feels slightly ashamed.

Jocelyn leans in, bringing herself closer to Maggie, as if seeking security. "It took my mother dying before I realised it was worth trying to fix things though," she whispers. "You were partly right, when you said I was feeling alone... But that's not why I said it. You see, I thought I was, but it took losing her for me to realise that I wasn't actually alone at all. Even without her, I wasn't alone. Because there was you. There's always been you."  
  
Maggie nods, finally understanding. "I'm sorry if I seemed dismissive earlier. I didn't intend to hurt you."  
  
"You didn't," Jocelyn says. "I understand why you said what you did. I hurt you once - hurt us both. You were right to be cautious."  
  
Maggie is thankful for Jocelyn's understanding, but words fail her in voicing it. In lieu of speaking, she simply wraps her arm tighter around Jocelyn's shoulders, pulling her flush against her side. Jocelyn drapes her arm across Maggie's stomach, hand curling around her ribs. The curves and spaces of their bodies fit perfectly together. Their inhales and exhales are unconsciously timed so it's as if they're breathing in each other’s air as they drift off to sleep.  
  
***  
  
They wake in the morning still wrapped around each other. The piercing ring of Jocelyn's alarm clock forcibly reminds of them of their responsibilities and the events they have to face today.  
  
Burying her face into the crook of Jocelyn's shoulder, Maggie grunts a 'good morning' into her skin. Despite the worry and dread of what the future may hold, in this moment - a small moment of time - they allow themselves to be perfectly content. After years of sleeping apart while wishing for the other next to them, they are finally waking up together. The sheets are warm around their bodies.  
  
They take pleasure in all the small luxuries of domesticity that they'd always dreamed of experiencing together: dressing in front of each other, unashamed; sharing breakfast -- "I know you never cook, but we really need to stock up your fridge." Jocelyn doesn't comment at the word 'we', but her eyes are shining as if with unshed tears; Maggie meets her eyes, unabashed and meaningful.  
  
It's only when Maggie fetches her keys, ready to drive them to court that Jocelyn realises. She reaches a hand out and finds herself gripping Maggie's arm.  
  
"What is it?" Maggie asks, turning with a startled look on her face. Her expression slowly shifts to worry when Jocelyn doesn't immediately reply, nor remove her hand.  
  
"I just realised, I forgot to tell Ben he didn't need to give me a lift this morning."  
  
"Is that a problem? Can't you just ring him now?"  
  
Jocelyn pauses and checks her watch. "No, he's normally here for half 7."  
  
Maggie catches on to Jocelyn's meaning. "And it's 8 o'clock now."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Ah. Well I hope you didn't want to keep this a secret from everyone," Maggie says, trying to keep her voice light, but Jocelyn picks up on the serious note behind her tone. She instinctively knows that her response is critical, even if Maggie had only meant it as a joke.  
  
"Well I must admit I had expected to be able to keep it quiet for a while. There's bound to be comments, and I suppose I would have liked to just enjoy it for a bit before everyone knew, but considering it doesn't seem like that can be the case... I don't mind."  
  
Jocelyn isn't sure if she's imagining the pride on Maggie's face, under the momentary surprise.  
  
"It's long been time for me to be brave," Jocelyn continues, echoing Maggie's words from the previous evening. "If you don't care what people will think, then neither do I. I'm not ashamed of being with you."  
  
It's Maggie's turn to blink back tears. She reaches out to clasp Jocelyn's hand, still resting on her arm.  
  
"I don't suppose there's any chance of people not figuring it out?" Jocelyn asks eventually. It's not as if she wants that to be the case - she's made her peace with this and Maggie is too important to lose just for the sake of gossip, but to assume that everyone will know just because Ben does seems like jumping to conclusions.  
  
"It's possible," Maggie concedes. "They don't have a reason to notice us, but Olly is constantly assessing things to find a story, and I think Sharon and that Abby are suspicious of everything."  
  
Jocelyn nods, surrendering the point. "Sharon will pick up on it for certain," she realises with no small amount of dread. She'd forgotten to count her ex-pupil in the list of everyone. "She can sniff out a change in demeanour a mile off; she can read people too well."  
  
Maggie pulls her close, wrapping her arms around her waist, and Jocelyn returns the hug, appreciating the reassurance. They stand there for a few moments until Jocelyn catches sight of the clock on the wall.  
  
"We need to go," she exclaims, reluctantly pulling out of Maggie’s arms.  
  
They both eye Maggie's car warily as they approach: the vehicle the tell-tale sign that Maggie had stayed the night at Jocelyn's. Ben, being fairly close to Jocelyn, and having been privy to no shortage of personal moments between her and Maggie, can be under no false impression of what has transpired between the two of them. He's a lawyer, conditioned to assess people; no doubt he picked up on the atmosphere between them weeks ago.  
  
Jocelyn knows he won't tell anyone else - he has no cause to - but the court case has made everyone suspicious, and this cannot go unnoticed; Maggie waiting behind for Jocelyn at the court last night whilst everybody else filed past her, and them turning up together this morning, when every other morning it has been Ben and Jocelyn arriving in the same car - it's inevitable that people will put two and two together.  
  
They are silent throughout the journey, both thinking it over and wondering how people will react, if at all - this doesn't concern anyone else, so why should it matter? In the most part it won't, but they both know to expect comments from certain people.  
  
When Maggie pulls into a space and turns the engine off, the sudden absence of any noise startles Jocelyn out of her thoughts. She turns her head to find Maggie already gazing at her. She reaches out a hand, stroking Maggie's cheek briefly - revelling in the final moments shared between only them before they face up to reality, however harsh it may be. Maggie smiles softly at her, taking Jocelyn's hand when it comes to rest on her thigh.  
  
"We'll be okay," she murmurs, hoping to remind Jocelyn of their strength and everything they've overcome so far in order to be here together.  
  
"I know," Jocelyn says, and the certainty in her voice reassures Maggie. "Will you come home with me again tonight?" she asks, and this, more than anything, tells Maggie that they are in this together, no matter what happens.  
  
Maggie leans forward, not caring if anyone outside is looking in. Jocelyn moves closer in anticipation, and as their lips meet, the nervousness dissipates.  
  
They are together, and nothing will change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out longer than I expected and I haven’t finished yet, so I hope to have another chapter up by the end of the week. Hope you’re enjoying it so far!


	3. Our (Not-So-Secret) Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have to confess that I don’t fully know how the townspeople might react, having only come out to a few people and received only positive reactions (luckily). Also, to paraphrase Sartre: hell is other characters - I found writing dialogue for anyone who wasn't Jocelyn or Maggie very difficult. This got more angsty than I meant for it to, but then again, the brief glimpses of these two after their kiss was hardly happy, so I blame the episode. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has given me such lovely comments so far! It really means a lot to know you have enjoyed my writing. This chapter is dedicated to Lauren, who makes me smile every day with her lovely, inspiring words. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it!

Upon entering the atrium, most people turn to glance at Jocelyn and Maggie, but this is not the time or the place to comment. Eyes shift to the Latimers to gauge their reaction, but the family are drawn with the stress and worry of the trial, and have no capacity to consider anything other than getting justice for Danny. Beth even seems to give them a small, understanding nod; a slight softening in her eyes as they exchange pleasantries and Jocelyn tries to offer some reassurance for the coming day.

They both know that it will not be this easy forever; undoubtedly everyone has their own thoughts about this latest development. Gossip and intrigue spreads quickly in a small town, and speculating about the relationship between the local reporter and barrister will no doubt be a welcome change of topic or a source of consternation once the furore of the trial has died down.

For now, they escape to the relative safety of upstairs, away from the intrigued scrutiny. Jocelyn is reluctant to part from Maggie, but she needs to go and change into her robes in case the jury reach a verdict at any point in the day. Before they part, Jocelyn catches one of Maggie's hands in hers and squeezes briefly, not caring if anyone sees - a pointed, and public, display of affection. They both take comfort from the small gesture.

As Jocelyn disappears down the corridor, Maggie turns to the corner seating to find Olly smirking at her over the lid of his laptop.  
  
Rolling her eyes, Maggie approaches him, awaiting the inevitable comment: here she has found the one person who will not be able to resist saying something. She isn't wrong.  
  
"So it's true then?" he says cheekily, an eyebrow raised, and Maggie resists the urge to just ignore him and change the topic: Jocelyn hasn't shied away from facing this so far, so neither will she.  
  
"It?" she replies tersely, not in the mood for his teasing even if she does have to confront this. Right now, her thoughts are mostly with Jocelyn, and the hostility she is likely to be facing if Sharon Barber is in the locker room.

"You and Jocelyn." It's said as a statement, not a question; a smug smile on Olly's face as he knows she can't dispute what he just saw.

Maggie holds back a sigh and flops into the chair next to him. "I won't bother denying it," she says eventually. "But get your mind out of the gutter Oliver, it's not like that."

The expression on his face says he doesn't believe her but Maggie has no desire to explain further. His face drops a little at her prolonged silence, and Maggie feels slightly apologetic for her harsh tone; he had only been pleasant, if a tad too enthusiastic, about the whole thing.  
  
"Everyone noticed I suppose?" she offers, her voice softening; his face brightens immediately.  
  
"Ben managed to look spectacularly shifty when he came in," Olly tells her, caught between amusement and apology. "If people hadn't guessed just by him walking in alone, he made it rather obvious that there was something to notice. Sorry."  
  
Maggie shakes her head. "It's fine." Then, in order to deter further comment, she looks over at his laptop to read his latest foray into social media; well, look like she's reading it in any case - she has no concentration right now - solely wondering how Jocelyn is doing.  
  
***  
  
Before Jocelyn can reach the locker room, she hears her name being called softly from further down the corridor, and turns to find Ben looking distressed.  
  
She has no time to say anything before he launches into a babble of apology, to which Jocelyn only catches brief snatches: "I should have knocked on the door"... "saw the car"… "thought I'd leave you in peace"... "didn't think about how it would look"... "sorry"... "really sorry"…  
  
Eventually Jocelyn holds a hand up, having got the gist of the story, and his tirade stops suddenly.  
  
"Thank you," she breathes, relieved. "It's alright Ben, honestly. You only did what you thought was best."  
  
He looks uncertain, so Jocelyn offers him a small smile and a further explanation. "At least you saved me from spending days, and potentially weeks, being afraid that other people would find out and worrying about their reactions."

Ben can tell she's deep in her own thoughts now, and probably doesn't mean to speak her next words out loud, considering the vehemence in them – like she's berating herself. "That's what prevented me from saying anything all those years ago... I've spent too long caring about other people and not enough time caring about Maggie's feelings. Not anymore."

With that, she steels herself to head into the locker room, at last brave enough to face her ex-pupil and any derision or scorn directed at her. Maggie deserves that: for Jocelyn to tackle her demons that have held them apart for so long.

As expected, Sharon greets her in a typically obtuse way: a short round of sarcastic applause followed by an acerbic comment. "Well, I didn't think you had it in you," she drawls. "Getting it on in the middle of a trial. I'm almost impressed."  
  
Jocelyn bristles at the flippancy of the words; unable to prevent the reaction, even though she knows Sharon will delight in antagonising her. "Not that it's any of your business," she says archly, her voice cold. "But you obviously can't grasp the fact it's more meaningful than that. I'm not surprised - you're not capable of tenderness, so why should you recognise it in anyone else?"  
  
Her words are taunting - she can't help it - Sharon has always brought out a confrontational side to her.  
  
They're prevented from further argument however, as Ben pokes his head around the door. "Sorry to rush you, but there's a question from the jury. We've got to go back in."  
  
***  
  
As the public file into their seats in the courtroom, Jocelyn has time to glance quickly at the press bench, seeking out Maggie. Their eyes find each other; the look passing between them saying everything they can't say in words right now: _it's okay, we've handled it. We're going to be alright._  
  
***  
  
Any contentment Jocelyn had managed to reclaim in that brief moment is swiftly destroyed by the judge's words as she relays the jury's questions.  
  
Trying to reassure Beth and Mark is impossible, Jocelyn knows, as she and Ben talk with the grieving parents. Even as she stands there, she can feel the case slipping away from her.  
  
She manages to brush Ben's concern off and heads into the locker room alone. Opening her locker, she reaches for her mother's hairbrush, needing something familiar to anchor herself; an attempt to quell the negativity rising within her.  
  
She's jolted back to reality by a knock on the door, then Maggie's voice rings out. "Jocelyn? Are you in there?" Silence. "Jocelyn please, if you're in there - talk to me."  
  
Jocelyn remains standing there, unable to speak out; no matter how much she wants the reassurance - craves Maggie's arms around her - she fears that she may crumble if it happens.  
  
Eventually, she hears Maggie's footsteps quieten as she walks away.  
  
***  
  
Maggie waits until Beth and Mark return to the atrium before she goes in search of Jocelyn, needing to see her and try to offer some comfort. Useless, she knows, but she needs to attempt it.  
  
Her first port of call is the barrister's locker room, and her heart speeds nervously as she raps on the wood, hoping that Jocelyn will be on the other side of the door, and not Sharon. She's not spoken to the other woman, and doesn't intend to start now, not when she knows instinctively that Sharon will have given Jocelyn a hard time earlier.  
  
When the door doesn't open however, Maggie decides it's safe to call out Jocelyn's name. "Are you in there?" she asks. There is a resolute silence in reply. She tries again. "Jocelyn please," she says, her hand resting on the door. "If you're in there - talk to me." Still nothing.  
  
Maggie pauses for a few moments longer, before deciding to carry out her search elsewhere. She banishes the small thought that pops unbidden into her mind: that Jocelyn doesn't want to face her right now. She can't think like that - they're in this together.  
  
On her way downstairs, intending to head to the ladies and see if the elusive Jocelyn can be found there, she finds Olly preparing mock-up versions for the front page; the word 'GUILTY' emblazoned across the screen along with a close-up photo of Joe Miller catching her attention immediately.  
  
Something inside her snaps, and she berates Olly, unable to handle this any longer. She doesn't know how she's going to bear it if the 'not guilty' version is the one they end up publishing. Suddenly, the need to find Jocelyn becomes even more important: she needs Jocelyn right now as much as Jocelyn needs her. After all, Maggie is the one who lived through the devastation in the immediate aftermath of the tragedy; the one who saw Beth and Mark in their grief and could do nothing to help. Jocelyn has only recently been pulled into this world. _Where is she?_  
  
***  
  
The announcement that the jury are coming back in calls a halt to Maggie's search. This time however, Jocelyn doesn't turn to look at her when she joins everyone in the gallery. Maggie tries to ignore the sting of hurt that shoots through her.  
  
The collective exhale of disbelief from the room when the foreperson says that the jury hasn't reached a verdict echoes in Jocelyn's head as she stares resolutely at the table in front of her. Ben whispers something to her, but she's barely paying attention.

***

Yet again, everyone has to file out of the courtroom, still on tenterhooks. Jocelyn follows them out, searching for Maggie this time: she has no consoling words left to say to the Latimers – despair gripping her.  
  
She eventually finds her in a secluded corner upstairs: seated on a sofa bench facing the window, her back to Jocelyn.  
  
Jocelyn notices her tense slightly as she approaches, no doubt hearing the footsteps; the reaction is worrying. Gently, she places her hand on Maggie's shoulder. Maggie doesn't turn to face her.  
  
"Are you alright?" Jocelyn asks, instinctively sensing that something is wrong; a distance between them that she doesn't know how to close. She remains standing there, hand still resting on Maggie's shoulder, unable to draw away until she answers.  
  
"Where were you earlier?" There's a cold edge to Maggie's voice, as though she already knows where Jocelyn was, she just needs to hear it for herself.  
  
"I'm sorry," Jocelyn says. The simple words are answer enough. She feels Maggie pull away slightly from her touch; it pains her, but Jocelyn understands.  
  
"Why did you do it?" Maggie asks, not able to mask the aching hurt in her voice. The meaning is clear even though the words remain unspoken: _why didn't you come to me?_ She finally turns to face Jocelyn, and the tormented look in her eyes shows Jocelyn just how unkind her actions of earlier had been, and how much they had affected Maggie.  
  
She sinks to the sofa next to Maggie, wanting to reach out more than anything, but she unconsciously knows that Maggie will flinch away if she does. She owes her an explanation first, before she tries to take any comfort from her.  
  
"I'm so sorry," Jocelyn whispers, sounding truly bereft. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted to open the door, believe me I did."  
  
Maggie struggles to hold her gaze, but she desperately wants to believe the sincerity in Jocelyn's words, so she doesn't interrupt as Jocelyn continues.  
  
"I just couldn't do it. I needed you, but I needed to be strong as well. If I'd opened that door I think I would have lost it, and I couldn't afford to do that."  
  
"Did you even think about me? How I might have needed you?" Maggie says. She hates the way her voice sounds so forlorn, so vulnerable.  
  
"No." The word cuts through Jocelyn as much as Maggie, as she realises that yet again, she’s put herself before the woman she loves.  
  
_At least she's honest_ , Maggie thinks bitterly.  
  
"I'm sorry. I know I've let you down." The only consolation is that Jocelyn sounds just as broken, if not more so, than her.  
  
A silence stretches between them, unbearable, as they both try to work out where to go from here.  
  
Maggie slowly takes Jocelyn's hand, where it rests on the seat between them. Jocelyn starts at the contact, looking to Maggie in surprise. Maggie is looking back at her, her eyes sorrowful but finally with a hint of understanding.  
  
"You haven't let me down," she says eventually. "You're here now."  
  
Jocelyn blinks back the tears which spring suddenly to her eyes. "I knew I'd crumble if I saw you," she murmurs, a hint of a laugh in her exhale.  
  
Maggie's fingers brush the back of Jocelyn's, drawing indeterminable patterns across her skin.  
  
"I went to find you to offer some comfort," Maggie admits. "I didn't realise it'd be worse if you saw me."  
  
"Nothing could be made worse by seeing you," Jocelyn murmurs fervently. "I didn't mean it like that." She twists her hand so that she is now holding Maggie's fingers in her own. She lifts their joined hands to her lips, brushing a gentle kiss against the back of Maggie's. "Believe me, you make everything better." She punctuates the words with another kiss.  
  
Maggie twists her hand to caress Jocelyn's cheek briefly with her fingers. The tears still shine in Jocelyn's eyes.  
  
"What a pair we make," Maggie sighs softly, a hint of a smile pushing onto her face.  
  
An answering smile tugs at Jocelyn's lips. "At least we're in it together." There's a question laced in the quiet words.  
  
"Sharon didn't put you off then?" Maggie asks, a lightness returning to her voice. They're both relieved to hear it.  
  
"On the whole, I'd say she was faintly praising if anything," Jocelyn replies wryly.  
  
Maggie quirks an eyebrow.  
  
"'I'm almost impressed' are the actual words she used, if I remember correctly. All things considered, she was far less insulting than she could have been."  
  
"I'll count that as a win," Maggie jokes.  
  
"I'll take what I can get." The implied meaning in Jocelyn's words is not lost on either of them.  
  
As if he'd been waiting for that exact moment – the thought of the trial once again fresh in their minds – Ben appears behind them in a hurry.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt," he pants. "But the jury's coming back in. There's a verdict."  
  
As he turns and walks away, giving them a moment alone, Jocelyn turns to Maggie.  
  
"Thank you," she murmurs.  
  
"What for?"  
  
"Your support. I'm sorry I didn't accept it earlier."  
  
Maggie clasps Jocelyn's shoulder as they walk back towards the court, her fingers lingering by Jocelyn’s neck.  
  
"It's forgotten," she smiles softly. "I know what you're like." There's no malice - only affection in her voice, tinged with a slight exasperated fondness.  
  
The smile Jocelyn gives her in response tells her she understands.  
  
***  
  
In the courtroom for the final time, Jocelyn tries to smile reassuringly at the Latimers – she knows nothing will comfort them right now, but there’s still hope.

As everyone else files into the public gallery, she cannot resist a glance towards Maggie, their eyes catching for the briefest moment before they have to look away.

It's enough to reassure Jocelyn that no matter what happens, Maggie will be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the end for this story! Part 3 will be up soon, covering the events of 2x08 and all the missing scenes there. I really hope you enjoyed it!


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